There are things in this world that, metaphorically, are impossible to take home with you. Things you look with your eyeballs and go “holy s**t!” and then you try to capture it with your camera and you’re disappointed and shocked that your stupid iPhone couldn’t translate it properly. Then you show the picture to your friends and you have to be that person going “aww man, you really had to be there, the pictures just don’t do it justice!”
The Grand Canyon is the clear leader that I’ve seen so far. Acadia was a close second. And hopefully Jenny and I are about to see a bunch more.
Then there are things that are the exact opposite. Things you can look at a picture of and confidently say, “yeah, I get it.”
Mount Rushmore is in that second category.
I had never seen Niagara Falls before, so when we were in western New York, we made sure we made the trip out. Another check off the general bucket list of American life. And it was awesome. Definitely did not fall into the second category, there’s no way to understand the scope and scale of the whole thing until you get there.
Since we were out in Black Hills of South Dakota* we had another similar objective: Mount Rushmore. I’ve had no real desire to go there at any particular point in my life, but we were in the area, and it’d feel slightly unpatriotic not paying the $10 to park, walk up, take a picture, and leave.
Soooo… that’s what we did. Literally. We parked, walked as close as we could (there was construction that stopped us from walking all the way up), took exactly one picture, turned around and left to go find dinner. I was so uninterested that Jenny had to remind me to stop and actually look at it for a second.
I mean… it’s exactly the picture we’ve all seen a billion times. Why do people go there? Asks the guy who just went there.
The sickest part of the whole thing is that they’ve built this giant f**king tourist trap around it. On top of the usual gift shops and $20 sodas and audio tours inside the actual park, we drove through Keystone, SD on the way there and back and… I literally don’t have the words to describe this town. Think Clark Griswold’s wet dream. Think a Subway shop unironically decorated inside and out to look like an old western saloon. Think places created for the sole purpose of putting on fake miner hats and “digging” for fake crystals.
Think of every kitschy stupid tourist thing a five-year-old would see and cry all the way home if their parents didn’t let them do after shelling out $50 for a cheap piece of plastic souvenir the kid is going to lose in 5 minutes anyways.
That was this town. And I’m sure there are a few more like it surrounding the monument. Capitalism is alive and well in western South Dakota, folks.
But I digress… to use my previous phrase, another check off the general bucket list of American life.
Outside of that, we successfully boondocked off Sheridan Lake out in the Blacks Hills of South Dakota* without dying or major bodily harm.
It was our first time living in the trailer without any hookups, and quite honestly… there’s no point to it. Okay, hear me out, here’s the thing…
Imagine your home. Now imagine your home on wheels. You have your TV, your A/C, your Wifi, your cell service… all of it, and you can go anywhere now. There are a bunch of places you go that are gorgeous and tons of activities and things to do, AND you still have your home. And all of your things. Now picture you go to a place just as gorgeous and activity filled… but you don’t have your TV, your A/C, your wifi, your cell service… why do that? You could do the same thing with your s**t! Are you a masochist?!?
The more important point, though… if it’s super hot and sunny this camper can become a f**king oven. Without A/C we could be putting the kitties in a not-so-great situation. Cats don’t handle hot weather that well. We’d like to not kill our cats is what I’m saying.
So we realized we can just as well book a campsite with hookups to avoid that situation, pack the truck with the tent and sleeping bags and camping gear, drive out into whatever wilderness we had decided to explore, and experience it all just the same. I only have a few weekends booked with no hookups, so there won’t be much to change. And… you know… no dead kitties this way.
Other than that, I finally got my wish to drink cheap beer out on a boat in the middle of a lake. We rented a canoe for a few hours, bought a 12 pack of Miller Lite and enjoyed the morning.
We got out there at 8am and the lake was smooth as glass. You could see maybe one other boat out there and it was nice and peaceful. By 11am, all the f**khead weekenders with motor boats and jetskis were all over the place, zooming by at top speed and leaving their crazy ass wake for us to deal with, so that was our cue to head back in. Most excellent morning though.
We are now outside Bighorn National Park for the week, where we are watching Denver local news and feeling nostalgic. We head out Friday for some more boondocking in Yellowstone for 4th of July weekend where we’ll be meeting up with Jack and Sarah… and (possibly) more importantly, their puppies! It shouldn’t be too hot there this weekend, so we’re looking okay for the kitties. And after that we head into Utah. Super pumped for that.
* WARNING: Rocky Raccoon by the Beatles is never to be played around Jenny ever again. For perpetuity. If I sing the opening lines one more time, she’s going to divorce me.