Piece of crumb cake

Hello again… again.

Remember when I said the van would be done by:

~~Thanksgiving~~
~~Christmas~~
~~mid-January~~
~~mid-February~~
~~end of February~~
MID MARCH?

Well, I fucking nailed that timeline, no sweat, and I’m totally amazing at doing things.

This whole thing started on the idea that I’d have it done in two weeks working out of a storage unit in the dead of winter in Maryland. Strangely enough, that didn’t work out.

After it dropped down to about 20 degrees (and a failed attempt to run the propane heater that only almost killed me with carbon monoxide) I realized I had to bring the van down to Florida to finish properly. Sooooo packed up everything and did just that around beginning of December.

It is now mid March and FUCKING FINALLY done. Easy as this…

Prologue

This is about the best representation of what the van looked like before I destroyed it. Wasn’t identical to this, but pretty damn close. Very pretty, very slick, and completely fucking unusable for what I needed.

Chapter One: ROOF STUFF

One of the biggest issues with the van in its original configuration was there was absolutely zero air circulation. The only large fan was the air conditioner on the roof, but that could only run on 120V. So obviously not an option out in the middle of nowhere. Plus, even if the fan on the AC unit DID work on 12V, there was one tiny little window to move air in and out.

End result, unless I was somewhere it got down to 50-60 degrees overnight, the puppies and I were pretty uncomfortable. Just stuffy hot grossness.

So the ironic solution to get a cooler van was to remove the AC, replace it with a powerful 12V fan, and add a second vent/fan over the bed. This way even with the doors closed at night, the front fan will pull air down through the bed fan and give me a nice fresh breeze. The bed fan can also pull air out, so if I wanted to I could make the front fan pull air in and get even better circulation. All on 12V.

Got all that?

Chapter TWO: CEILING STUFF

After working on either ripping stuff out or just building out stuff that wouldn’t be seen, I finally was able to start on the ceiling I’d be looking at every day in there. I originally was gonna do big sheets of 1/8″ plywood wrapped in fabric with some foam, but that went south REAL fucking quick. Mostly everyone builds it out with planks of wood, so that was the new plan. 6″ wide planks of wood with just a semi gloss poly finish.

Finished the rest but didn’t take a picture. You’ll see it in a bit, I know you can’t wait.

Chapter Three: WALL STUFF

Next up, used 1/4″ plywood to build out the walls. Underneath these are a bunch of studs bolted to the van using 1/4″-20 bolts into plus nuts. Then just screwed the wood into those and puttied over the screws.

Then painted them out to the chosen color. I didn’t want to grain to show through, so I bought some stuff called Aqua Coat that you smear on the wood to fill the grains. Topped it off with a couple of coats of Kilz primer, then finally two coats of the actual paint. Minus my own stupid mistakes it looks as smooth as sheetrock.

The trickiest part was working around the window behind the drivers seat, but was able to hack my way through a frame. Same deal, it’ll show up in more pictures.

Chapter Four: Cabinet stuff

The big one… attaching hundreds of pounds of wood up in the air and making sure they won’t fall on my head while I’m sleeping. No pressure.

More 1/4″-20 bolts into plus nuts riveted onto the van walls and ceiling. Also some 1/4″-20 screws right into the sheet metal. ALSO the backs of the cabinets are bolted separately and wedge in at an angle, so if those all fail that piece of wood should keep it up long enough for me to deal with it / get out from under it. Hopefully good.

Made three separate cabinets, one next to the sliding door and two to stretch across the entire wall opposite.

Built two more cabinets and hoisted them up on the other wall.

Next was staining time. I wanted it a dark brown, but it ended up WAY darker than I thought. It works though, it’s that same dark brown color from IKEA which has been the color of our furniture since fucking forever so… we’ll keep it rolling in the van I guess. It was also stain and poly in one which basically just became paint after the initial coat, one thing I’d redo if I could… but I’ll live.

Also eventually got the doors on there using all the hinges I took off the old cabinets. Thousands of dollars of equipment I just got rid of, thousands of dollars in wood, but thank goodness, saved $28 on soft close cabinet hinges.

Chapter Five: Bed Stuff

Now that the cabinets were up I could start filling out the floor plan starting with the bed frame.

It’s a full size bed trimmed down at the top and bottom since the width of the van is just under the 75″. Then underneath is a little spot to slide my porta potti, a big storage space, the water tank, and space for all the electrical and water system stuff.

I had a long debate with myself on whether or not to remove the water / air heater. It was a Truma combo thing, and as nice as it is having heat and hot water, taking it out opened up a whole bunch of storage underneath. Which was what I ultimately did.

Also allowed me to empty and cap off the propane tank underneath since that was all it was needed for. Super happy with that as well, as it was way more trouble than it was worth. Campground propane always seemed to be hit or miss. And then it always took three or four trips to Harbor Freight before someone both knew how to fill it and had the right adapter. The gauge was always all over the place, so I never knew how much I actually had left. Add in possible leaks and the plain fact of driving around with a giant tank of flammable and… no, won’t miss it. I don’t plan on being anywhere too cold, and I can do without hot water. Most of my showers will be at Planet Fitness… es. Fitness’s. Fitnisseses.

The first one I guess. Yay black card membership.

I also had about 7 inches between the back edge of the bed and the door when closed, so I built out a little “nightstand” so I could keep stuff back there.

And lastly, framed out the back windows so it looked like an actual wall. Completed it with some curtains as well. Mattress fit in there like a glove and it started feeling like a camper van again. He said excitedly.

Chapter Six: Desk Stuff

The next biggest problem with the old configuration was that I had absolutely nowhere to comfortably work. The “bed” could be turned into a couple of “benches” and then a little “table” could be screwed into the floor.

First issue, transitioning from bed to seating in the morning and then back to bed at night might work just fine for a person in there by themselves. But adding two reactive dogs who are constantly right under your feet every move you make makes it next to impossible. So already, the model is broken.

Second, the table was maybe 1′ x 2′ and barely had enough room for a laptop. It was also super wobbly, so not only was there no possibility of a monitor, but I couldn’t even put my drinks down.

Third, the van has an inverter that ran one single outlet. There were a bunch of outlets all over the place but those all needed shore power. Thankfully they placed this one inverter outlet in a super convenient place.

Nahhhhhhhh, it was INSIDE one of the overhead cabinets. So to sit and work on my little wobbly table and barely cushioned seats, I also had to run the power cable for the laptop up to the ceiling and into one of the cabinets in order to get some juice. Just not great all around.

So one requirement for this rebuild was a proper desk. Didn’t need to be huge or anything, just enough to fit the laptop and a monitor. I’d also move the inverter outlet under it so I didn’t have to have power cables just fucking hanging.

Tadaaaaaaa…

Added bonus, my beers are now directly next to me while I work!

Chapter Seven: Dog bed stuff

Next up was removing the passenger seat and building out a dog bed. This was honestly the only part of this entire process I didn’t actually want to do, but Goose just will not ride in the back on the bed. He HAS to be up front with me while we’re driving. He would sit on the front seat fighting to keep his balance and unable to lay down. For hours. And if I tried to make him go to the back he’d come right back again.

So here you go ya jerk, enjoy your bed.

Not the most exciting part of the process, but my boy will be comfy while we’re driving. Until Charlie starts crawling all over him, but not much I can do about that.

Chapter eight: sink stuff

The last big construction project was the sink. Prior to this I built a wall between the bed and the sink location. There is about a 5 inch space inside that holds the light switch and control panel wiring, as well as the plumbing.

As mentioned before, I got rid of the water heater. So the fresh water plumbing was relatively simple with just cold water. One PEX tube, done.

Hit a small issue with the drain though. When I ripped everything apart I realized the sewer vent ran up to the top of the van right where my new bed was going to be. So that was out.

Bought an AAV to take care of it. But when I ran the water there was literally zero draining. If I unscrewed the AAV it started immediately.

Okay, faulty AAV? Bought another one and installed it. Same thing.

Took some extra thinking through to realize I had completely sealed the grey tank, and the air being pushed out by the incoming water from the drain had nowhere to go. The AAV lets air in, but it doesn’t let air out. Kinda the whole point of it.

So I cut open the old 1-1/2″ inlet that used to go to the shower that I capped back in like fucking September, covered it with some screen so critters couldn’t get in there and the sink started draining like a champ. Major construction done.

Chapter nine: last stuff

The rest was just little things like:

Paint and stain everything
Get the computer and monitor set up
Curtains and blackout screens
Decorations
Install a rug (that floor is FUCKED)
Clean up all the dirt and sawdust
Disinfect the water system
Install the bug screens
Give the van a bath
Pack up

After all of that, for some reason, my favorite thing was the fold out counter I built once I realized I didn’t have enough space for the little butane stove thingy I bought.

Money.

Bonus CHAPTER: puppY PICS

Side note, my parents have a dog, Max…

…who is about a third the size of even Charlie and plays like he’s three times bigger. The first time or two we’ve come to visit they’ve roughhoused so hard Max ended up at the vet all beat to shit. So these days we keep them mostly separated when they play. Goose and Charlie still tear it up, however.