(Get well soon Hanx!)

So we left Colorado at the end of February and came down to Florida with the cats and a Ford F-250 full of our life to throw in an RV and drive aimlessly around the country. Some accomplishments of our Florida existence so far:

1) Yankees Spring Training game

Especially glad we got this in considering everything going on right now. Yankees lost bad to the Orioles, Sanchez literally couldn’t catch a ball (and that’s basically his entire job description), and my dad confused everyone by wearing a Yankee hat and a Showalter Orioles jersey (the man who built the late 90’s Yankees dynasty… PROVE ME WRONG!) 

• Experienced Orlando traffic
• Got a hot dog and a beer
• Watched my dad drink a White Claw
• Listened as the guy next to us did everything he could to NOT talk to his girlfriend (by talking to mine non-stop)

All in all, a good night. 25 year goal achieved!

2) Harry Potter World/Land/Universe

We went to Harry Potter… Land The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and we’ll let you know if we wake up Saturday with coronavirus. (This blog will take a very different turn if we do)

• Bought Jenny’s official wand
• Escaped Gringotts
• Rode the Hogwart’s Express
• Drank butterbeer
• Got ice cream at Florean Fortescue’s
• Realized Chris was a Slytherin (basically because I’m super smart and SUPER lazy)
• Took a forbidden journey to a quidditch game
• Ate at Three Broomsticks and the Leaky Cauldron
• Tried pumpkin juice, pumpkin pasty, and an insulin inducing vanilla caramel fudge

3) Pure panhandle behavior

Officially embarked on our journey and ended up in bumblef**k Florida panhandle for a couple of nights. A nice laid back adjustment period before we get to New Orleans and beyond. Upon our arrival here we immediately realized we have some work to do to get into the routine. Backing up into the spot wasn’t terrible… but not great. Work in progress. We’re like Tom Hanks at the beginning of Castaway when we’re all white and fat and pasty and cutting ourselves trying to start a fire. Give us a few weeks and we’ll be lean and tan Tom Hanks killing animals with our bare hands for sustenance. 

So far one of the best perks is the over-the-air cable we get in the camper, so we can watch a lot of local basic cable channels everywhere we go. TIL that a former college football coach named Tommy Tuberville (TOMMY F**KING TUBERVILLE??!?!?! I couldn’t think of a better name) is running in a special election against Jeff Sessions for Alabama senate seat Republican runoff. And could very possibly win. And is endorsed by Trump. YES… Trump is picking a former college football coach over his own former ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES.

The world is in such an amazing ridiculous place right now. Stay safe out there everyone. Wash your f**king hands.